My favorite post so far is “10 Things You Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, & Organizational Peace” by Gary Baran.
Especially number 10, which was a completely new idea to me: “Instead of praising someone who did something you like, express your gratitude by telling the person what need of yours that action met.” I have been thinking of praise as a way to affirm others but now I realize…
- It makes me uncomfortable to receive it. Although I tell myself “it’s okay, I can take it in” … still it would be so much easier to take in the information of how I had served the other person. And actually, more useful too.
- My partner doesn’t respond positively to praise either. I don’t think he reacts the way I do: he just doesn’t seem to react at all. It will be interesting to see if telling him how he succeeded in meeting a need of mine… works better for him. I think he will like being a success.