Better Than Praise

Here’s a great resource I just discovered: The Center for Collaborative Communication. Browsing around their site, I enjoyed reading their blog.

My favorite post so far is “10 Things You Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, & Organizational Peace” by Gary Baran.

Especially number 10, which was a completely new idea to me: “Instead of praising someone who did something you like, express your gratitude by telling the person what need of yours that action met.” I have been thinking of praise as a way to affirm others but now I realize…

  • It makes me uncomfortable to receive it. Although I tell myself “it’s okay, I can take it in” … still it would be so much easier to take in the information of how I had served the other person. And actually, more useful too.
  • My partner doesn’t respond positively to praise either. I don’t think he reacts the way I do: he just doesn’t seem to react at all. It will be interesting to see if telling him how he succeeded in meeting a need of mine… works better for him.  I think he will like being a success.